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Friday, April 4, 2014

Naked men and sloppy boobies

I don't have it in me to wax philosophical about life today. Can't do it. What I can do is talk about last night. For those of you that don't know, last night I went to the casino to see the famous erotic dance group, the Chippendales. Now I love myself a real-life-Adonis as much as the next hetero-sexual 21 year old female. I expected to see all types of women because it was a free, first-come-first-served event. My expectations were proven.

I've never been to the average strip club with girls on poles but I'm pretty sure the men (and women) that frequent those don't act like bitches in heat. Hundreds of ladies, 21-70 years of age, lined-up outside the doors of the event room. Some of them were scantily clad and some could have put some better clothes on. Once we were all in there and the men appeared it was pure insanity. Don't get me wrong, I was screaming with the best of them. The men were putting on a great show and they were hot, of course I wanted to show support. However, that is the only similarity me and the other women shared. I was not drunk. I was not hoping the dancers would throw their perspiration soaked clothes at me. And I wasn't begging them to put their hands on me. I thought it was cute when they kissed me but realistically I wasn't expecting to spend the night with any of them. I wasn't %100 intoxicated by the pheromones they were emitting.

Maybe it's because I spent years on stage in high school but it's hard for me to over-look the fact that an act is just an act. I liked the show A LOT. It takes some massive balls (pun intended) to recreate sex acts on stage. It was fun momentarily fantasizing, but some of these women were seriously trying to take things backstage. Which is fine, but everyone knows half the male strippers out there are gay (I love my gay guys, don't take this the wrong way), the other half probably have significant others, and for the ones that don't have anyone I wouldn't want to add myself to their mile long list of conquests. Also, it was all an ACT, albeit a very scrumptious act, but an act nonetheless.

I've just never understood why females act bonkers over strippers. They are externally more beautiful than the average person but beneath the sculpted abs and symmetrical faces they are simply people. Females who lose their minds to men who perform just make all other females look ridiculous. I'm not saying don't go to strip shows. I want you to go and enjoy yourself with your girls but please control yourself.